Consider a Legal Career - a How-To Guide to Make Money

"After years of trying to get rich with get-rich-quick schemes,
I know I'm going to get rich with this scheme . . . and quick!" --Homer Simpson

CONSIDER A LEGAL CAREER

DWI / DUI Attorney
Criminal Lawyer
Personal Injury Lawyer
Mesothelioma Attorney
Medical Malpractice Lawyer
Structured settlement lawyer

Plastic Surgeon
Peddle Medifast
Prescribe Lots of Viagra
Prescribe Painkillers
Lasik Surgeries
Perform teeth whitening

Student Loan Consolidation
Borrow a Lot, Pay Back a Little
Debt Consolidation
Loan Refinancing
Buy a House, Get a Mortgage
Credit Cards

Make Money on Spyware
Sell Pharmaceuticals
Sell Insurance

CONSIDER A LEGAL CAREER

Pay some law school a hundred thousand dollars for a lawyer's license

AS THEY SAY, 95% of all lawyers fuck up the reputation for the rest of them. Every year, law schools in America churn out thousands of wide-eyed young professionals that are eager to take your money. And you will give it to them! Quick, name somebody who has never sued anybody or has never been sued himself? Car accidents, wills, divorces, slips-and-falls, tainted meat in your hamburger - anything you do is, as they say, potentially "actionable". So, if you can't beat them - join them.

Getting a law degree is like buying a license to print money. It will cost you - about a hundred thousand dollars in student loans and three years of your life, but - trust me, it will be worth it. (Fortunately, those student loans are pretty easy to get - banks love to issue them to law students.) And, after graduating, you can take your pick of the following wonderful legal careers:

Become a DWI / DUI attorney